Too much empathy for others could lead to despair. Compassion is the answer!

Some workplaces closed their doors and staff lost their income.

Since Covid-19 pandemic started, I have travelled to many places in the countries. I have talked to some people about their livelihoods. Although Cambodia has not experienced community transmission of the disease, it is obvious to witness economical impacts on people’s lives.

Their income is decreased or taken away when their businesses go slower, and their workplaces are closed. This means less money for rent, food and medical care. Each family member in particular children needs to limit their basic needs. They could be in such a situation for longer! 

Those were the words I heard during my conversations with them. Thinking about their wellbeings afterwards makes me overwhelmed. I kept worrying about from one thing to another, especially about affected children and elders, which made me sad and exhausted.

My sadness and exhaustion, according to neuroscientists and psychologists, could be an “empathy fatigue”. It is mental tiredness caused by feeling extensively emphatic to others. It is when we are aware of others’ pain, and we absorb the experience for ourselves.

We do that because we care, but it could be traumatic if we remain in that state of mind for too long. We then become another victim, making the situation worse. It is not helpful anyway as we could not help the affected others we feel sad about at the first place. But what can we do besides of being empathetic?

Responses to the question could be the way out. Neuroscientists and psychologists suggest us to shift our mind from empathy to compassion. This means we need to add “action”, at least intentionally, to our empathy to alleviate others’ pain. In short, compassion = empathy + action(s).

When we feel compassionate, we do not feel exhausted from others’ suffering but motivated and energetic to help others. What encourages us is the peace of mind when we see others we support are free from pain.

In addition to the concrete actions, compassion cultivation could be practised to avoid empathy fatigue. It is a technique that could be practised either in the form of meditation or daily activities. It could be applied to our loved one(s), stranger(s), difficult people and everyone. 

For meditators, they could start by thinking of one(s) who is suffering and setting the intention to lift the pain. Then turn the will into the following phrases and silently recite them:

May you be free from suffering (from hunger, poverty, diseases…)
May you be free from fear (from danger, abuses…)
May you find peace and happiness…

This type of meditation or thinking, of course, could not help others immediately. However, it could prevent us from becoming a victim of empathy exhaustion. It strengthens our compassion during the meditation and later in our interactions with others in real life, which lead us to be compassionate to others and take actions to help them.

For me, knowing and practising compassion cultivation is really useful to deal with others’ suffering during the pandemic. I use it to make my heart and head more compassionate and focus on actions to help others rather than solely on their pain and issues.

I concentrate on my current job, which is the work to support people, especially children. I make a random donation to support-needed people I encounter during my daily commute. All of these actions transform my empathy fatigue to motivation to help others.

Their income is decreased or taken away when their businesses go slower, and their workplaces are closed. This means less money for rent, food and medical care. Each family member in particular children needs to limit their basic needs. They could be in such a situation for longer!