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Mountain-carved Buddha statue in Phnom Sampov, Battambang |
Having born in a Buddhism country, Cambodia does not make me
meditate by default. Meditation is one of the core practices of Buddhists;
however, many Cambodians, including me instead, are culturally bound to religious
rituals. The practice is primarily for devout monks, practitioners and scholars.
Throughout my education from primary to undergraduate
schools here, I never encountered any mediation teachings, not even once. That
makes sense because I was not learning in Buddhist monasteries anyway! But
socially, there is a belief that mediation is only practiced by those who scarify
their lives to pursue a religious path. This thought alone kept me away from trying
it.
I have no doubts about the benefits of meditation. It positively
impacts our mental and physical health. Thousands of scientific studies have
supported that. Though knowing this in my head could not push me to sit down,
close my eyes and focus on my breaths. Forcefully, it was anxiety and fear that
triggered my heart to slow everything down and observe my mind nonjudgmentally.
For the last two years, I have tried a few meditation techniques. I have practiced mantra, mindful and recently compassion meditations. Surprisingly, the methods have not led me to anywhere, neither the past nor the future. They keep me in the present moment, here and now. I feel grounded and see my surroundings clearer with a less reactive but calm mind.
I also gained nothing free from my practice. I needed to
exchange many of my mental properties such as stress, anger, jealousy, fear and
anxiety; I think there were more, to only two things in return, calmness and
compassion. Without considering the number of items swapped, I think it was a
fair trade!
With these positive changes, I know it is the way of living I was always searching. My journey to pursue this path just began, and I do not expect much from the destination. Experiences learnt along the way is more important for me as a traveller, and I am happy to share with all the passers-by.
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